Let’s take a moment to appreciate the strange collection of habits, abilities, and questionable decisions that make me… me.

1. I can lick my right elbow.
   Science says this is impossible. I say: hold my drink.
   
2. My food cannot touch.
   I’m not saying I’m high‑maintenance, but my dinner plates look like they’re practicing social distancing.
   
3. I eat my food in a specific order.
   There is a correct sequence. I will not be taking questions.
   
4. I’m double‑jointed.
   My limbs do things that make chiropractors uncomfortable.
   
5. I respond to everything with a movie quote.
   I’m basically a walking IMDb page with feelings (I guess).
   
6. I haven’t seen my real fingernails in four years.
   Do they exist? Are they even there?
   
7. I’m a witch.
   Not the cauldron kind—more the “I know what you’re about to say before you say it” kind. It’s unsettling for everyone involved.
   
8. I can’t finish a song.
   My brain hits skip like it’s being paid per button press.
   
9. I can flatten my nose to my face.
   It’s giving Voldemort – with better skin care.
   
10. I carry a purse of lipsticks inside my purse.
    It’s like a Russian nesting doll, but make it glam.

If you’ve made it this far, congratulations—you now know more about me than some of my relatives.